Reconcile Read online

  “You weren’t that bad, Sawyer.”

  “I wanted to fight against everything we knew. I wanted to burn that fucking notion of becoming my father to the ground. But I didn’t want you to go up in flames too.”

  “So, you pretended to sleep with my sister.” It’s not a question. It’s a fucking mess, though, and too much for my muddled brain to wrap around at the moment.

  “I ran into her at that party. She was upset. I was upset after a really shitty week where my father reminded me nonstop of how worthless I was and how he wanted Spencer with Paisley.”

  I know his father was hard on him, as was Spencer. “You could have talked to me.”

  He laughs again and brushes it off. “Now, that would have been the mature, smart thing to do, Piper. That never would have occurred to me.”

  “Don’t do that.”

  “What?” His eyes are locked on mine, and he looks so damn vulnerable.

  “Put yourself down. That was your father and Spence. I saw more.”

  “You loved me.”

  My heart clenches tightly in my chest, and a single tear escapes and slides down my cheek. “I did.”

  “You were young and naïve.”

  “Fuck you, Sawyer.” My words have no malice behind them. He’s already beaten down, and I don’t really want to knock him down further.

  “You shouldn’t have.” He looks nearly distraught as he reaches for my hand, and I let him take it. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for so many things.”

  He is. I can feel it.

  I don’t think it’s an act. I think Spencer is an ass.

  “We can be friends.”

  A small laugh escapes his mouth. “Okay.”

  “Okay.” I shake his hand in agreement, and he smiles, shaking back.

  Friends.

  “You okay? You seem a little . . .” Viv searches for the right word and lands on, “tired.”

  I smile at her as I watch Audrey run down the hall to go find Baz. “I’m okay. Just . . .” I sigh, “Sawyer and I are working on being friends.”

  She smiles but thankfully, doesn’t say what I’m sure she’s thinking. “Friends.”

  I think about the way he held my hand last night and how we agreed to be friends. “Yes. Friends. I want to forgive him, but I’m afraid to forget the past and get crushed again.”

  Her eyes are kind as she listens. “How long do you have before you need to leave for work?”

  I may have been a little early today on purpose. “I have a little time to talk.”

  She leads me to the couch, and we sit down. “Love is a tricky thing, you know? In order to love fully, you have to give that other person all your trust.”

  “I, ummm . . .” I want to argue that I’m not in love with him, but at this point, I’m not sure it’s even worth it.

  “We’re working on just being friends right now.”

  “That’s a good start.”

  “Yeah, I guess. He’s been really great with Audrey. Picking her up when Spencer is an asshole and makes me stay late, which is often.”

  “You could always come work with Lola, Penelope, and me.”

  I smile at her and shake my head. “No.”

  “Come on, it’s gotta be better than working for a Ross.” She scrunches her nose up playfully. “Yuck.”

  I laugh at that and joke with her, “You know my kid is half-Ross, right?”

  “I do, but she has Sawyer Ross in her, and that’s a hundred times better than any of the others. I’m convinced he’s adopted.”

  I’d agree if it weren’t for the physical similarities. “You know, we used to play this game when we were younger.”

  “What kind of game?”

  “We would ask each other what we would do if we weren’t a Ross and a Ward. The answer was ‘everything.’ We’d do everything. But then, it started to get more complex, and he’d make me name specific things.” I smile at the memory. “It started with fun activities, like water parks and amusement parks. Bowling. Things we never had time to do because we were always scheduled for academic things our parents deemed to be more important.”

  “I can relate.”

  I know she can. “Then, after he kissed me for the first time, when he’d ask me what we’d do and I wanted to kiss him, I’d say we’d make out. And we would.” My cheeks heat. “When I was ready to have sex with him—or so I thought—I said sex.”

  She smiles at that as I blush.

  “It was the only time he ever asked me if I was really sure about that being what I wanted. And I thought I was. I was such a fool, Viv.”

  She shakes her head and turns her body to face me head-on. “No. You may have been young, but you knew how you felt. You were in love with him. Sounds to me like the only fool was Sawyer.”

  “He never felt he was good enough. Ever. And his father only made it worse the older we got.”

  “You make him better, Piper. You help him see the good in himself, and maybe he was scared way back then, but he’s stronger now. He knows what he wants, and what he wants is you.”

  My voice sounds quiet and weak as I look at her helplessly. “I’m afraid.”

  “Love is scary.” She smiles. “But it’s also so wonderful. You’ll be okay, Piper. You’ll find strength in each other.”

  I’m not so sure about that, but I think I’m already past the point of denial.

  I want Sawyer.

  But I don’t know if I can give him my heart again.

  Tonight feels different somehow. I’ve felt Piper’s eyes on me all evening since she got home. Watching me, studying me, but I swear I’ve seen something else there too.

  Desire.

  I know she said we’re friends, but the way she’s been watching me is not friendly.

  Maybe it’s all in my head. Maybe I’m just really fucking horny. It’s been way too long since I’ve been laid, but that’s not really where my mind has been.

  I’ve been focused on trying to prove to her I can be a good dad.

  We tuck Audrey in, and then Piper grabs my hand, pulling me into her room instead of me following her.

  “You okay?”

  She nods her head slowly, her teeth pulling on her bottom lip and leaving it swollen and so fucking kissable I can barely stand it. She changed after work into a faded cropped t-shirt and jean shorts.

  Fuck, she’s sexy.

  She closes the door behind us and locks it, drawing my eyes to hers as I search, trying not to read anything into it.

  We’re friends.

  But friends don’t usually lock the door.

  She moves closer to me, allowing me to breathe in her sweet perfume, placing her hands on my chest. “Ask me.”

  I swallow my nerves. She can’t be doing what I think she is. I haven’t been this fucking nervous since the first time I kissed her.

  “Are you sure?” I barely recognize my own voice, which sounds raspy and full of gravel.

  “Ask. Me.”

  Her face is close to mine, and her eyes land on my lips. “If we weren’t Sawyer Ross and Piper Ward, what would we be doing right now?”

  She cocks her head playfully to the side. “You mean, if I wasn’t still reeling from finding out that you didn’t actually have sex with my sister but you made me think you did to push me away? And it was a whole plot to hurt your brother and father?”

  “Yeah. That.” I eye her, wondering if this is a trap.

  “I think we’d kiss.”

  Is she for real? What the hell is going on? “Did you have too much wine at dinner, Pipes?”

  She laughs at that, and it’s free and easy. Her real laugh. “Kiss me, stupid.”

  I don’t question it anymore, wrapping my arm behind her back, pulling her to me by her slender waist and pressing my lips to hers. She runs her tongue over the seam of my lips, and I open for her eagerly as she thrusts her tongue inside, taking the lead.

  We kiss fervently, way past just friends, moving toward the bed, our mouths
and limbs tangled together before she pushes me back only slightly, allowing me to continue to cling to her body.

  “Ask me.”

  My breathing is rapid as I pant for this fucking woman. My dream girl who I always wanted but didn’t feel worthy enough to have. The girl I hurt on purpose. “What would we do?”

  She smiles, her hands smoothing over my chest as she rests her forehead against mine. “If you weren’t trying so desperately not to screw all this up and to make it up to me? If you weren’t killing yourself to prove to me that you’re the good man I thought you always were?”

  I swallow thickly, my emotions too much to deal with as I nod, my head rubbing against hers. “Yes.”

  “I think we’d get naked.”

  “Piper,” I groan, wanting that so damn bad, but she’s right. I’ve been walking on eggshells and trying so damn hard not to fuck it up. “I don’t want to mess this up. I can’t lose her.” My eyes lock on hers. “And I can’t lose you again.”

  “Sawyer.” She brings her hand slowly over my cheek, and I lean into it. “Get naked.”

  A man can only take so fucking much. I step out of her hold and grab my t-shirt from behind my neck, lifting it off and tossing it to the floor. Her eyes rake over my chest, and her finger finds the tattoo she always gravitates toward.

  I watch the red paint on her fingernail as she traces over the letter and then takes a step back, lifting her t-shirt over her head with both hands, revealing that she’s not wearing a bra. Her tits are fuller than I remember. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

  Her pink nipples are peaked with arousal as her breasts heave with each breath. I undo the button on my jeans, waiting for her to tell me to stop or laugh because this was some kind of joke.

  But she doesn’t. She just stands by the bed, watching me with hunger in her eyes that makes my knees weak. No one has ever made me feel like she does. I’m not an idiot. In fact, I’m pretty much an arrogant asshole. I know I was blessed with good looks, but with Piper, it’s like she sees beyond that.

  I push my jeans and boxer briefs down in one quick motion, freeing my achingly hard cock that’s dying to be inside her once again. Her gaze moves lower, and she gives me a wicked smile.

  She pushes her shorts down, and my little vixen isn’t wearing any panties either. She’s trimmed, nearly bare, and it takes everything in me not to reach out and touch her. But I want this to be her decision.

  I don’t want to be her regret anymore.

  A mistake she wishes she could take back.

  “You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. No one makes me feel like you do, Sawyer.”

  “What would we do, Pipes? If I weren’t so afraid of fucking it all up?”

  She walks closer to me, her fingers dragging through the ridges of my abs. “We’d fuck.”

  Her tongue clicks with the word. Damn if that didn’t make my cock jerk in anticipation. Needing her so fucking badly, I grip the back of her neck and pull her mouth to mine, devouring her.

  I kiss her lips and make my way over her jaw and down to her collarbone, sucking hard and pulling a moan from her. “God, that feels good.”

  “I’m about to make it feel even better.”

  I lay her body down on the bed and climb over her, kissing over the soft flesh of her breasts and finding her nipples, tugging gently with my teeth just enough to hurt. Her head falls back as her fingers slide through my hair. “We have to be quiet.”

  Right, Audrey is next door. Definitely not used to fucking with a kid in the house. Well, not anymore. I guess Baz was . . . Nope. Not where I want my mind right now.

  My mouth moves lower over her toned stomach, swirling my tongue in her belly button. I can’t believe she carried our child in here at one time. I’m pissed I missed seeing her pregnant.

  Now’s not the time for bitterness though.

  When I reach my destination between her legs, my hands grab her thighs, parting them for me. Her feet plant flat on the bed as she opens for me, giving me the trust that should be long gone. I drag my tongue through her wet slit, causing her fingers to tightly clench my hair. “Oh God, Sawyer.”

  I smile at that as I find her clit, circling over it and making her gasp.

  Her hips buck with each swipe of my tongue, so fucking responsive and needy. I fucking love it. “Right. There.”

  She’s already close, I can hear the desperation in her voice to come, but I’m not ready for that. Her nails dig into my scalp as her hips move upward, chasing her orgasm, but I withdraw my mouth, moving to her inner thigh.

  “Sawyer,” she whines, and I look up at her with my own wicked smile before nipping and sucking on her thigh. I feel her trembling as she begs, “Please. God, please.”

  I move back to her glistening pussy and breathe in her intoxicating scent. “Fuck, you smell so damn good.” I lick her slowly, causing her back to arch, her tits bouncing with the movement and making me groan. “Just as good as you fucking taste, Piper.”

  “Please, Sawyer.”

  “What do you want, Pipes?”

  Her eyes meet mine, full of desire and frustration. “I want to come.”

  I smile devilishly as I grip her thighs and find her clit with my tongue, using a punishing pressure to send her over the edge.

  “Yes. Right there. Please don’t stop.” Her hips move with my tongue as her body trembles beneath mine. As her moans grow louder and louder, I reach my hand up to cover her mouth right before she completely loses it, screaming something that sounds like my name, but it’s muffled by my palm.

  I tease her clit until she’s begging me to stop and then move up her body, finding her mouth and kissing her hard. “I need you inside me, Sawyer.”

  “Let me go grab a condom.”

  “No.” I arch an eyebrow. “I’m on birth control. Are you clean?”

  “Of course. I always use condoms and get tested.”

  She nods, almost frantic as she pulls my mouth to hers. “Then, get inside me.”

  Again, a man can only be pushed so damn far. We both groan loudly as I thrust inside her tight heat, burying myself balls deep inside her. She moans my name, arching her back into me, pushing those full tits against my bare chest, and it feels like home.

  “Fuck, Piper.”

  “Oh God, that feels good.”

  We move together, her orgasm building again as my balls tingle with the need to release soon. “I don’t think I’m going to last long.”

  She bites on my bottom lip, moving her hips with mine, meeting me thrust for thrust with a stifled moan. Her fingers move to my ass, gripping it hard as she pushes me into her.

  “Oh! Right there, Sawyer.” Her head leans back, and I smile, not remembering her being this loud before and loving it but knowing she’d be mortified if Audrey heard. I cover her mouth and thrust deep inside her.

  She screams again, my hand firmly over her mouth as her pussy strangles my cock, and I see stars as my cum spills inside her tight pussy. “Fuck.” My own groan is muffled by the skin of her neck as I bury my face there and hold onto her.

  I don’t want to let her go.

  Not now. Not ever.

  When we untangle our bodies, I pull hers to me, spooning her naked body with mine and just breathe her in.

  “What would we do, Piper?” I whisper in her ear.

  I can feel her smiling. “Everything, Sawyer. We would do everything.”

  For the first time in a long damn time, everything feels right with my world.

  I roll to my side, grumbling because I don’t want to be awake yet. But then, I slowly open my eyes when I realize the other side of the bed is empty.

  No.

  Please God, don’t let last night just be a dream.

  I look around Piper’s room and see there’s no sign of her. “Fuck.”

  I knew last night was too damn good to be true. After the first time, we talked for a little while about nothing important, and then she let me inside her gorgeous body for anothe
r round before we both passed out.

  I climb out of bed and tug my jeans on from last night, not bothering with my boxer briefs or a shirt as I stumble out into the hall.

  “Swearer.” Oh. Fuck.

  I look at Audrey, who’s looking up at me curiously, her little hair mussed from sleep as she rubs her eyes. “Hi, sweetheart. What are you doing?”

  “Looking for Mommy.” She looks behind me into the empty room. “Is that what you’re doing too?”

  I hate lying to her, but I guess it’s not really a lie because I don’t know where the fuck Piper is. “Yeah, she’s not in there.” I hold my hand out for her. “Let’s go look for her and then get you some breakfast, okay?”

  She nods exuberantly at that. “Okay.”

  We walk downstairs and don’t see Piper anywhere. My heart is racing. She may leave me, but she’d never leave Audrey.

  When we walk into the kitchen, that’s when I see her through the glass doors, sitting on the patio and facing the beach. “There’s your mom.”

  Audrey rushes outside to greet her, and I move behind the counter to start making breakfast. I’m pissed but not sure I have the right to be. We had an amazing night together, and then she just disappeared in the morning.

  When the fuck did I turn into a chick?

  Piper walks inside with Audrey gripping her hand. She’s dressed for work, and her makeup and hair are flawless. “Morning.” I’m trying to play it cool, but I have so many fucking questions.

  “Good morning. Can you take Audrey to Viv’s this morning? I need to go in early.”

  No, she doesn’t. She won’t look at me. Fuck!

  “Yeah, of course.”

  “Thank you.” She kneels in front of Audrey and pulls her into a hug before taking off without another look in my direction.

  Well, this is just great. She couldn’t wait to get the fuck out of here. As I make breakfast and eat with Audrey, fear floods through me that she’s about to bolt and take Audrey with her.

  Why the hell did I have to let my dick do the decision-making? I was doing so fucking well.

  I walk Audrey over to Ash and Viv’s, and Asher answers the door. “Hey, kiddo!” He looks at me. “What are you doing here?”