Reconcile Read online

  I force myself to straighten my back and lift my chin. “It was. And in fact, there’s a guy at the office who’s been asking me out pretty much nonstop. You want more time with Audrey, so maybe you can watch her and I could take him up on his offer.”

  His handsome face morphs in horror. “You want me to watch her while you get laid?”

  “I doubt I’ll sleep with him on the first date, but don’t you want some time with her?”

  I hate to admit how much I trust him with Audrey already, but I know, without a doubt, he won’t let anything happen to her. He may be even more protective of her than I am. Plus, I need to clear my mind and get it off of Sawyer.

  “I want more time with her.”

  “Good. So how about this weekend?”

  He looks like he’s going to be sick, but I know he’ll be fine. He’s bored, and I’m a plaything. I need to remind myself of that. Over and over. “Okay.”

  I nod. “It’s a big deal for me, Sawyer.”

  “A date?” he scoffs.

  “Leaving Audrey with you. I don’t like leaving her.”

  His eyes are steely as they meet mine. “I won’t let anything or anyone hurt her. Ever.” I believe him. “I’m her father, even if you won’t let me tell her.”

  My stomach knots, thinking about that fact. That I’m keeping a secret from my daughter and knowing deep down he’s a good father, but I’m still not there yet. I can’t trust him completely yet.

  “I can’t deny how quickly you took to fatherhood and how much she already loves you.”

  “I love her too.”

  My chest aches, and I’m slightly taken aback by his admission. At how easy it was for him to say that. I wasn’t sure he was capable of saying the words, but perhaps that was only to me.

  I smile, though, because I’m happy he loves our daughter.

  His face drops. “You still think it could be a game?”

  I don’t want to believe that. I’ve seen the joy on his face when he plays with her.

  “I really hope not.”

  “It’s not,” he growls, and I stand up, needing distance from him.

  “I need more proof, Sawyer. And an evening alone with her might help that.”

  He stands up, his shoes touching my bare toes. “I’ll do anything to be her father.”

  I nearly choke on my threatening tears, but my chin remains tipped up, and I make myself stare into his eyes. “You’ve been a great father so far.”

  With that, I grab my Kindle and leave because I can’t stand that close to him, even after all this time the pull is too great.

  I don’t think that’s ever going to change.

  “No, not like that, Swearer.” I look at Audrey, who has an adorable scrunched up expression on her face while she tries to teach me how to braid her Barbie’s hair.

  “What am I doing wrong?”

  She laughs at me, covering her face and shaking her head. “You have to use three strands of hair.”

  I look down at the doll’s hair, noticing I only have two. But damn it, this is hard. Audrey, however, is a total pro as she takes the doll from me and shows me again. Her little fingers are quick. “You’re really good at this.”

  She’s beaming as she looks up at me. “It’s not hard, Swearer.”

  I’m gonna have to get Baz for that. My daughter calling me “Swearer.” I’d prefer Dad, but I’m not sure when that’s ever going to happen.

  “Try again.” Audrey places the doll on my lap and laughs.

  Still, I’m happy that she calls me anything. That I’m here with her, getting to know her.

  “Does Mommy really have to go tonight?”

  I attempt a braid again, not wanting to answer the question. When Piper told me she wanted to go out on a date, I thought I was going to die. Dramatic, I know, but I didn’t see that coming. I thought maybe we were on our way to some sort of reconciliation, that maybe she’d let me kiss her again and make it right.

  But no . . . She’s upstairs in her room right now, getting ready for her date.

  I try to swallow my pride and put a smile on my face as I tell Audrey, “Yeah, but we’re going to have so much fun, you won’t even notice she’s gone for a bit.”

  She giggles. “Okay. But I don’t want her to go.”

  Me either, kiddo.

  I hear high heels clicking on the wood floor and look up, stunned when I see Piper. She’s always gorgeous. She doesn’t even have to try, but when she tries . . . Jesus Christ, she’s beyond stunning.

  Her long brown hair is down in waves, framing her beautiful face. Her golden eyes are rimmed with black liner and mascara fanning out her already long eyelashes. The red lipstick she’s wearing highlights plump, kissable lips. and her dress . . .

  It makes me homicidal that some prick from her office will see her in this dress.

  It’s white with subtle gray dots and fluttery sleeves that just barely cover the top of her arms. The deep V of her neckline shows off a hint of cleavage. Her dress is short enough to showcase her long tan legs but is classy and elegant at the same time.

  So damn Piper.

  Audrey races toward her. “Mommy! You look pretty!”

  Piper’s laugh is effortless as she wraps her arms around Audrey and kneels down to her level. “Thank you, sweetie. Are you going to be okay?”

  Audrey looks back at me over her little shoulder and shrugs. “I’ll take care of him.”

  Piper laughs, and I can’t help my own chuckle as I stand to approach them. “You look nice.”

  Piper stands, her face morphing into a stoic expression. “Thank you. Text or call if you need anything. Anything at all.”

  “We’ll be fine, Piper.”

  She gnaws on her bottom lip as she looks back at Audrey. “It’s silly.” Her eyes meet mine, and her voice grows quiet. “I work. So I have to trust her with others. Most nights, you’re here with her for an hour before I get home, but this . . .”

  Her hand lays over her stomach, and I can see the nerves eating at her. I sigh, fucking hating this but knowing she deserves it. She spent many selfless years taking care of our child alone.

  I remove her hand from her flat stomach and hold it in my hand. “Piper.” Her eyes meet mine. “It’s okay to do something for yourself for once. Working, that’s for Audrey. To provide. It’s okay to go out and have a good time.”

  Yup, I think that’s bile in the back of my throat, but I try to swallow away the bitter taste.

  She doesn’t pull away from me. In fact, she moves in closer. “I feel guilty. Like I should be here with her.”

  I want that so badly. For her to be here with Audrey. And me.

  “It’s just a couple of hours.” I force a smile. “Besides, I have a lot of fun things planned with Audrey.” My fake smile turns into a playful grin. “She’s not going to be thinking about you while we’re drinking soda and eating candy ’til we puke.”

  Audrey chooses to listen then and runs over. “No puke!”

  Piper laughs as I release her hand. “That’s right, Audrey. Keep him in line.” Her eyes pin me. “No soda.”

  “But the candy is fine.”

  “Sawyer . . .” she admonishes, but she’s smiling.

  “Go have fun, Piper. We’ll be fine.”

  She smiles and grabs her purse, pulling her keys out. “Thank you.”

  “He isn’t picking you up?”

  She moves toward the door, and Audrey and I follow. “No, I thought it would be better if I met him there. That way I don’t have to explain all this . . .” She waves her hand around the house.

  “Hmmm . . .” I still think he should pick her up, but I keep quiet. “Have fun.”

  She bends down and hugs Audrey. “You guys have fun too.” She squeezes our daughter tightly. “I love you.”

  “I love you too, Mommy.”

  Piper stands, taking a deep breath and another long look at Audrey before saying to me, “Thank you.”

  “No problem.”

/>   She walks out the door, and my heart feels like it might shatter into a hundred pieces, but I focus on hanging out with Audrey.

  That’s what I want. More time with my kid. And to earn the right to be called her father.

  Even if watching Piper walking away kills me.

  “I can’t believe you’re really here.”

  I smile at Caleb from my side of the dinner table. “I know. I’m happy I finally found some time to go out.”

  He grins. He’s a good-looking guy. Handsome face, tall, good smile. Still, my mind is back at the house, wondering what Sawyer and Audrey are up to. It was hard to leave . . .

  And maybe not just Audrey.

  I can’t deny I’ve seen Sawyer in a different light lately, and it’s scary as hell.

  “So, are you from here originally?”

  Right. I’m on a date. “No, I’m from Kansas City.”

  “Kansas or Missouri?” He tilts his head to the side with the question, and I find it endearing. It’s like he’s genuinely interested in my answer.

  “Kansas.”

  “Nice.”

  I laugh and take a drink of my water. “What about you?”

  “California, born and raised.”

  The rest of the date is mostly just getting-to-know-you questions and small talk, but it’s nice. No history. No past heartbreak. No secrets.

  When he walks me to my car to say goodnight, I feel him watching my mouth as I talk. I can feel the desire there.

  But I think it’s one-sided. Because when I look at his mouth, I think about Sawyer’s full lips that draw my own toward them. I think about the take-charge way he kisses that somehow makes me feel cherished even if I know it’s a lie.

  “Well, this was fun. Thank you for dinne—” And now Caleb’s lips are on mine.

  No. This doesn’t feel right.

  My hands move to his firm chest, and I push him back, separating our mouths. “Ummm . . .”

  “What’s the matter, Piper? We’ve been flirting for a year now.”

  “Nothing’s wrong.” Except you aren’t Sawyer. There’s no history there. No familiar feeling at all. Shit. Damn it, Sawyer. “But I should get home.”

  He doesn’t back away though. Instead, his arm curls around my waist, tugging my unwilling body toward his. “I think you should come home with me instead.”

  My heart is pounding so fast I can feel it in my ears. “I don’t think so.” I try to push him away again, but he doesn’t budge. Not good. “Let me go.”

  “Why are you acting like this? We had a good time.”

  “We did until you started getting aggressive.” I shove a little harder, gaining some distance from his body. “No means no.”

  He actually rolls his eyes at me. “Of course, you have to be dramatic.”

  I unlock my car and push away from him. “Don’t call me.”

  “Will you wait a minute, Piper?”

  “No.” I open my door and climb inside, automatically locking the doors. His hands bang on my car window, sending a jolt of panic through me. I start my car and start to reverse. He looks angry but steps out of the way, and then I see him climb into his car as I exit the parking lot.

  I feel sick and unsure about what just happened.

  Maybe I overreacted.

  His car is behind mine, and my hands are trembling as I cling to the steering wheel. It’s okay. I’m going to be okay. I’m safe in my car.

  I turn left.

  So does he.

  Okay, I’m freaking out. I go toward the highway, and so does he.

  I decide to call Sawyer through my car’s Bluetooth. At the very least, he can distract me while I make my way home.

  He answers quickly, “We’re fine, Pipes.”

  “Sawyer.” My voice is strained, and his mood changes instantly from teasing to concerned.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I . . .” What is wrong? I mean, what can I say? That my date kissed me, and now I’m freaking out because he’s on the same highway? “I’m . . .”

  “Piper? What’s the matter?”

  “Nothing. I just . . .” I sigh, “My date’s over.”

  “Okay?” he asks as a question like “Why the hell are you calling to tell me that?”

  “It’s just . . .” I look in my rearview mirror and see he’s still directly behind me, even though I’m going a couple of miles under the speed limit and people are flying by me. “He k-kissed me.”

  Great . . . Sound more pathetic, Piper.

  “Okay . . .”

  “I didn’t . . .” Another frustrated sigh comes from my lips. “I didn’t want it. So, I pushed him back and . . .”

  “And what?” His deep growl comes through the speakers of my car.

  “And he got kind of aggressive.”

  “Where are you now?”

  “I’m driving home, but he’s following me. Or I think he is. I’m sure he needs this highway to get to his place too.”

  “Who is this motherfucker?”

  I flinch. “Where is Audrey?”

  “She’s fast asleep in her room. How far away are you?”

  “About ten minutes.”

  He puts me on speaker phone, why I’m not sure. “Okay. I’ll be here, just stay on the phone. Did he hurt you?”

  “N-no. Just . . . I don’t know. I’m probably being ridiculous.”

  “Don’t do that. You deserve to feel safe. Seriously, who is this motherfucker?”

  I laugh nervously at that, but still, it brings a smile to my face. “Just a guy from work.”

  “He works for my brother, and you thought he’d be a decent date? Shameful, Piper.”

  “Hey! I work for your brother too.” He’s teasing me, and it eases my panic a little. Until I exit, and so does Caleb. “Oh God, he’s exiting too.”

  “Stay calm.” His voice soothes me as the asshole behind me exits and is in the same turning lane as I am off the ramp.

  “Hey, what’s up?” I hear Asher’s voice.

  Then Sawyer says, “Hey, man. Thanks for coming.”

  “I’m always available for backup.” I roll my eyes at their ridiculous bromance.

  “You called Asher?”

  “And Hayden and Linc,” Sawyer says unapologetically, and I groan when the other two men must join them. Their voices create background noise. God, this is embarrassing. I’ve only been around the other two men a couple of times and barely know them.

  I’m mortified. “Sawyer, what if he’s not really following me?

  “What if he fucking is? What do you think his plan is for when you park your car.”

  A shudder spreads through my body, and my fingers grasp the steering wheel tighter. “I don’t know. He seemed nice.”

  Someone whose voice I don’t recognize scoffs, “Fucker is following you. He’s not nice.”

  “Linc has a point.”

  My stomach is in knots as I turn to go down our street. “I’m turning on our street.”

  “Good. We’re waiting for you.”

  “He’s turning too. Shit.”

  “Piper. It’s okay. I promise. No one is going to let him near you.”

  I feel like an idiot. I’m so not the girl who needs a white knight or, in this case, knights. But . . . I’m so glad they’re there.

  When I pull into the drive, I see the wall of broad-shouldered men banded together before Sawyer approaches the car and opens my door. I turn my car off, my knees wobbling as I get out of the car and fall into his arms.

  Because I was scared, and his arms feel so damn good.

  “You okay?” I look up into his dark eyes and shake my head. “I’m being stupid.”

  “Fuck that.” Asher approaches just as Caleb’s car parks on the curb. “That’s one dumb motherfucker.”

  I shiver when Caleb climbs out of his car, walking toward me, seemingly oblivious to my fear or the men here. “Piper, what the hell?”

  Sawyer tucks me behind him just as Lincoln and Hayden approach my
date/stalker. “Back in the car, fucker,” Linc directs.

  Caleb stops, looking taken aback. “I just want to talk to Piper.”

  “Call her on the phone like a normal person,” Asher interjects.

  Caleb’s eyes search for me, but I remain behind Sawyer, unable to move. He followed me home. What if I lived alone? What would have happened? Is he dangerous?

  I move to Sawyer’s side. “Go away.”

  “Go away? We had a nice date, and then you freaked the fuck out on me because I kissed you.”

  “I didn’t want to kiss you, and I tried to push you away.”

  I feel Sawyer’s arm wrap around my waist, and I lean into him. “Leave.” His voice is controlled, but there’s an edge to it.

  “Who the fuck are these men?”

  “That’s really not your concern.” Hayden walks to his car, pulling open the driver’s door. “But you should leave before you get well-acquainted with all of us.”

  Caleb looks at me incredulously, like he’s waiting for me to say something, but I don’t. He huffs and walks back to his car.

  “Fucking cocktease.”

  “No means no, asshole,” Linc says as Caleb climbs into his car, and Hayden leans down, speaking too quietly for me to hear.

  I turn to look at Sawyer, but he just holds me closer, his eyes on the car. When Caleb finally drives off, I let out a relieved breath. “He knows where I live.”

  “Or he thinks you drove to your friend’s house,” Asher supplies.

  Sawyer squeezes me closer to his side. “Doesn’t matter, he’d have to be suicidal as fuck to come back here.”

  Hayden grins arrogantly. “I don’t think he’ll be back.”

  “What did you say to him?” I ask.

  He just shrugs. “I was totally nice.” He winks, and I roll my eyes, knowing whatever he said was not nice. And I’m thankful. He turns to Sawyer. “If you’re good, I was in the middle of my own date.”

  “Your hand doesn’t count, man.” Asher slaps him on the back, and Hayden chuckles happily.

  “More like with your big sis. She’s waiting for me.” He waggles his eyebrows playfully.

  Asher cringes and fake gags. “Gross.” He turns to me. “You okay?”

  I nod my head dumbly. “Yeah. I’m sorry to interrupt everyone’s night.”

  “It’s no problem,” Lincoln says, and I thank them all before going inside with Sawyer.